"Mum, I'm going out."
"It's 8pm Audrey, where are you going?"
"I'm going to a friend's hens party." I replied while wearing my hot pink Converse sneakers. "She's my ex-colleague when I was working in the hotel. I'll be home late so don't wait for me mum."
Donning a demin skirt which hides a even shorter and tighter one underneath and an oversize top with my bareback tube in it, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and hurried off before mum could ask me much.
Hot pink sneakers because my bareback tube is from Adidas (I've altered the back of course). I'm doing a sporty look to conceal my frame that has shrunk from the weeks (or months) of malnutrition.
Ever since I've cooped myself at home I've lost quite a fair bit of weight to the extend that some of my clothes don't fit anymore.
It's been 2 days since Adrian called me to inform about his shotgun marriage. Tonight is his bachelor night and I know I can't give it a miss.
"Aud! I have not seen you for so long!"
"Wah Audrey you hide yourself to transform yourself into a model is it? Slim down so much and even sexier than before!"
Sadly, losing weight doesn't mean my boobs will shrink much with the weight loss. In contrast, my bra size went from 36B to a 34C upper. Smaller but even fuller looking.
And it's there to stay all the way till now.
Concealer and makeup does wonders for woman, I must say.
None of them notice the pale hagged me at all. Perhaps the dim lighting inside the club helps too.
"I know you won't disappoint me." Adrian gave me a hug and said this to me the first thing when I reached.
I gave him a wink and stick out my tongue. It still hurts inside me but no, it's time to let go. I must find back my actual self. Not the one who have to forgo everything for the sake of one guy.
Just like the saying goes, never give up a forest for a tree.
That night, I had a lot more than what I usually could. I still know what's happening around me, but my body just can't be controlled by myself entirely.
"Audrey, you're drunk. Come I send you home." Adrian held me out of the club that's closing for the night.
"I don't want I don't want to go home!" I tried to push him away. Somehow, the drunken me just have more strength than usual. This push not only separates me from Adrian, it forces the unstable me to fall onto the ground.
I started crying. Again.
"Why? Why must Sean do this to me!" I hit my bare hands on the ground, not giving a damn care that I'm totally flashing my pink thongs to everyone walking pass in that position.
I guess some people might have sniped me in that terrible state then, since in my memory, I recalled some passerby aiming their camera phones at me.
Adrian tried to hold me up and also to stop those snipers from aiming me this open target.
"Audrey! Stop doing this to yourself."
"Hands off me lah! You're not me how you know how much I am hurt?"
"Sean... I really love you a lot..." I couldn't control anymore and hold on to Adrian. I lay my head on his shoulders and cried profusely.
"Why... I'm not a sinner... I am willing to change everything for you... Why am I not given a chance to explain or defend myself..."
I mumbled a lot. The thing about being a drunkard is that they will keep repeating what they've bottled inside them and 90% of the time they don't remember saying it the next morning when they're sober.
The problem with me that night is that I am drunk, high and out of control for my emotions but I roughly remembered what I mumbled and worst still, I clearly remembered all the actions.
Because, Adrian just hugged me tight and french kissed me all of a sudden while I was mumbling, waking me up from all these childish drunkard behavior.
"Adrian... I don't want to go home."
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