The First Chapter - 023

As I finish my deep fried bun and helping myself with the cereal prawns, I asked. 

"Why are you at the KTV pub that day?" 

Sigh, I wish I can be more outspoken and straightforward with my questions like how I usually is.

"Drink, drank, drunk." Lawrence's answer is just as simple as that.

"That's all? Certainly something must have happened that's why you're..."

"Tearing, right?"

Gosh, is he mind reader? His interruption is exactly what I want to say. 

I guess my mind-fucked state of shock face gave myself away. I nod my head in embarrassment.

"My dog passed away." until today, I don't understand how he could said this calmly without any expression on his face.

"THAT'S ALL!" see, I've said before that I couldn't hide my expressions. With voice that loud I suddenly realize the whole restaurant is looking at me, even though it was a noisy one to began with.

"Yup, my dog was with the vet when I was at the pub. He texted me to say that she can't make it anymore and have to be put to sleep."

I quietly finish the prawn with my head down. Having a dog is like having a kin. When it pass on, it's hard not to be upset.

"But still, you don't have to take advantage of me right?" 

"Haha, you mean that hug I gave you?"

My whole face turn red. Isn't that obvious when I asked this question I'm getting myself into this kind of situation.

"I just broke up with my cai the day before that, and thought of going to somewhere foreign for a drink to listen to some nice singings and maybe fishing for new cai. Turns out that the whole night I'm listening to ghost whisperings, voice breaking and cracking."

True. That KTV pub seems to house a lot of singer wannabes who are well, way too far from being one. Out of tune, screaming, voice breaking and cracking can be heard in almost every song sang by anyone there.

"I almost had my ear drums burst that night until I heard your voice."

Hmm, is that a compliment? While I'm having this thought in my mind, I could feel a flush of heat on my cheeks. 

I must be blushing red, because Lawrence was grinning when he looked at me.

"That hug was a thank you for saving my ear drums, also to make sure if we never meet again, you'll remember me."

"Then why did you appear at the gym?"

I think, I'm beginning to feel more comfortable being with this guy.

The First Chapter - 022

The walk down the shophouse stairs was one filled with tons of questions in my head again. This guy... Who the hell is he?!

Boss of this really nice boutique at a shophouse in Haji Lane, boss of some KTV pubs and night clubs, Senior PR manager of an events company?

Just how many jobs or business does this person holds?

We got back to his car and he drove to us to East Coast Park.

I don't get it. Why would eating at East Coast require me to change my attire entirely to what I'm donning now? Shouldn't what I've worn a way much better choice?

We walk over to Jumbo Seafood Restaurant. I couldn't take it anymore and ask.

"If you're just intending to bring me for a seafood dinner why ask me to get changed into what I'm wearing right now?"

Lawrence merely give me a smirk and continue walking to the entrance.

"Lawrence, I've made a booking."

"This way please Mr Lau." the captain show us the way to the second level.

"You can change back to what you're wearing initially, but that probably will look underdressed and terrible later after dinner." Lawrence replied me after sitting down comfortably.

There isn't anybody who even bothered to bring over the menu. At that point of time, I thought why would the service of Jumbo Seafood be so bad when they don't even bother to serve us anything except chrysanthemum tea.

Don't blame me, I'm here for the first time in my life.

A short while later, we're served with a plate of chili crab, a plate of cereal prawns and deep fried buns.

"Itadaki masu" Lawrence just pick up the chopsticks without me and start getting the cereal prawns for himself.

I look carefully at this guy sitting in front of me. How gentleman or nice can he be when he's showing all signs of an MCP? Or at least to me??

"What are you waiting for? Tuck in!" Lawrence finally realize I'm staring at him after he finishes his first prawn. I pick up my chopstick and pick one of the deep fried buns and dip into the sauce from the chili crab.

"Is that the reason you asked me to change into what I'm wearing now?" I ask, before giving the chili crab sauce covered bun a bite.

"Partially, Au-drey."

"You can call me Aud, or Audrey."

"I prefer to call you Au-drey."

Fine. Whatever. I feel so suffocated having to eat my dinner with someone like him. What have I done in my past life to deserve someone like this to torture me?

That reminds me the question I want to ask him. That unfateful night.

Why was he crying at my singing?

The First Chapter - 021

Second time this idiot just cut my words. Does he even have manners?

"Just leave your bags in the car."

"Huh! Don't want. What if my things get stolen?"

"Au-drey, look carefully at the window. If people can't see anything from outside, do you think they'll come break the window to steal your bag?"

Sigh, being chak big time. I guess I have to listen to his instructions then. I left my bag in his car and took only my wallet and phone with me.

"Leave your wallet in the car, Au-drey."

"What if..."

"If it gets stolen I'll be responsible."

Unwillingly, I left my wallet and bag in his car, bringing only my handphone.

The walk over to Haji Lane was a terribly quiet one. I merely followed him behind his back, with him turning back a few times to check if I'm still around and giving me a smirk each time he does that.

We walk up a shophouse into a small store selling really nice clothings for both men and woman.

"Lawrence! Coming over to check if I'm eating snake or not is it?" the lady in the store greet us with a smile.

"Do I look like someone who does that?" from the way it sound, Lawrence probably is one of their regulars here.

"I need this girl to be in something that's suitable for dinner, with me." Lawrence points at me while telling the sales lady what he wants.

"That's easy. Here, come with me." the lady signal me to follow her.

The next 45 minutes was a torture to me. I was stationed in the changing room while the sales lady bring over at least 10 different shorts, pants, tops and tees for me to try on and showcase to Lawrence. Each time, I merely get a shake of his head.

Finally, he decided on getting a pair of fitting black shorts with gold studs and a asymmetrical black chiffon top.

"Oh yah, she needs a new pair of shoes too."

The sales lady brought over a pair of black heels with some gold studs and chains on it for me to try on. Very edgy and stylish but the price tag of $389 is just as pretty in my opinion.

"Looks good on her! I'll take these."

"No wait! I don't think..." I tried to stop him but too late, the lady was already cutting all the tags on the shorts and top and removing the labels on the heels.

"Done, let's go." Lawrence just grab me by my wrist again and we left the store.

"Thanks boss!" the lady said that to Lawrence when we step out of the store.

Boss???

The First Chapter - 020

It's not about the price of the car.
Neither is it about the specifications of the car that attracts me.

Rather, it's because this car has merely launch in Singapore for a month and he's already driving it. A coincidence that he's changing cars hence the decision to get this?

Can't be bothered since I won't have an answer to it.

Since I'm a fan of Initial D and being surrounded by "Ah Beng" friends who drives for the sake of racing, Evo 9 was already in my lookout before its launch.

And red cars are always my favorite. No questions asked.

As I open the door and get myself seated inside this red Evo 9, tons of questions flood my mind.

"Is he gonna expect me to give him a blowjob here?"

"Where is he bringing me to eat? Why the need to go shop for new clothes?"

"His car is really new. I can still smell the leather from the seats. And there's no cushion or anything feminine that hangs around! No girlfriend or because he's a playboy?"

"What is he going to do?"

"Why take so long to be at the car boot and not coming in to start the car engine yet? Maybe he's got a whole car boot filled with BDSM stuffs!?"

"Fasten your seat belt, Au-drey."

His sudden words wakes me up from my daydreaming. I fasten the seat belt while he started driving off.

I don't dare to speak a word throughout the journey. It's kinda weird because I don't even know who is he. Then I remembered, there's something which I must know.

I have to ask him about this.

"Er...."

"Lawrence, not er." he interrupt even before I can say anything.

"Lawrence."

He smiled the moment I said that.

On a closer look, this guy does look good when he smiles.

"Lawrence, mind if I ask you something?" I looked at him while he concentrate on his driving. Rich people certainly don't thrift like the poor. Even his shades is one expensive pair.

"Haha, shoot."

I look down and hesitate for a while.

"On the night at the KTV..."

"Get down, we're here."

The First Chapter - 019

By the time I'm done with work and changed into my casual denim shorts and tees, Lawrence is already done with his workout, showered and waiting for me at the members lounge area.

Not to mention everyone at work is already being notified that the most humble, rich and handsome member in our gym had dated me out for dinner for some "unfinished business".

Doomsday, I don't need to wait for it. I can feel it coming to me right away.

"You done?" Lawrence scan me from head to toe. I replied with a simple nod.

"Byee Aud! Enjoy your DINNER!" Larry waved with his usual cheeky comical tone of speech at me as I walk to the lift lobby with Lawrence.

"I think we still have time." Lawrence said as the lift door close. "Let's go shopping."

"Huh?" I wish I have heard wrongly. Shopping? Which guy would actually like shopping?

"I don't think you want to be in this attire unless you want to be the center of attraction."

I take a look at what I'm wearing. White Nike t-shirt, Levi's denim shorts. Puma sling bag, hot pink converse sneakers.

I gave this man who's standing beside me a good look. T-shirt and jeans. With an Adidas bag.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Lawrence just gave me a smile. The lift door opens and without a thought he grab me by my wrist and drag me out of the lift.

"You'll know when we reach."

Lawrence brought me to the car park where his car is. At that moment I almost skip a heartbeat.

Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution IX in red.

Evo 9, my dream car alright.

The First Chapter - 018

"Hi welcome to Planet Fitness..." *gasp*

My whole body and face froze the moment I saw him.

What the hell! What is he doing here? Is he a member here?

Everything goes crazy in my mind. Worst still, I can't answer these questions.

"Two large towels please, Au-drey"

Sigh, the downside of working in the frontline. You can't hide your name since name tag is a must.

"Oh and I want locker number 17, Au-drey."

Lawrence hand me his membership card. I scanned the card and pass him the locker keys.

*beep*

"Lawrence Lau Hwee"

"Enjoy your workout." I tried very hard to squeeze a smile. Afterall, it really isn't worth to get a complaint for lousy service because of him.

"You bet I will, Au-drey." Lawrence gave me a wink and walk into the men's changing room.

Larry, my partner in crime at work for that day, made fun of me after Lawrence's backview disappear into the changing room.

"Haha, he's your ONS lover is it?"

"NO LAH!" I exclaimed. "I only met him once in a KTV pub." Seriously, I don't know why my face started blushing. Seriously.

"Really just met in the KTV pub or on the bed?" Larry gave me that usual cheeky grin.

"You think my standard for guys is only like that meh?" I replied. Larry is well known for his Ah Beng character while I'm known as the closet Ah Lian, hence when we work together we usually speak in singlish or mandarin or even hokkien.

"Eh he not bad ok, I heard he quite well to do one."

Ya right, SENIOR PR MANAGER.
So?

"What you mean quite well to do?"

"Rumors has it that even though he works as a PR Manager in this big events company, he also owns 2 pubs, a night club and drives a Lamborghini."

W-H-A-T T-H-E F-U-C-K

"Orh." I replied coldly. I can't be telling Larry that I actually attempt to slap this guy during our very first encounter right?

"But he's quite humble despite being so well to do though. Everytime he comes to the gym I noticed he drives a Honda Jazz only."

"Okay I'm allergic to rich people." I tried to stop Larry from telling me about him. Who's this Lawrence Lau anyway?

I have nothing to do with him, that's it.

*bam* someone's sudden bang on the countertop gave me a scare.

"Au-drey, you free after work today?" Lawrence's sudden appearance gave me a shock.

"Huh! What... Er.."

"She'll be knocking off in another 30 minutes time." Idiot Larry for replying on my behalf. Idiot idiot idiot.

"Great. Let's go for dinner then a drink together, shall we? I think we still have unfinished business from the other time."

That moment, I foresee myself facing a catastrophe in 30 minutes time.

The First Chapter - 017

I didn't went back to that pub after that incident. As the toilet was far behind our table Mark wasn't aware of what happened too, since I kept the name card in my hand bag before going back to the table.

Everything seems to go back to normal after that night. Shortly after, I manage to get a job as a Customer Service Executive in a gym. The pay isn't fantastic and there's shift work, but it's still higher than my previous job with shift allowance and there's uniforms provided. Also, staffs can use all the gym facilities for free.

Not only that, my new colleagues are all fun-loving party people so on days when I only need to work afternoon shift till gym closure, we would go clubbing or supper together.

At that time, there's a lot of things happening at home. Dad had an affair with a china woman and mum moved out with my younger sibling. No one is really at home to take notice if I'm at home or not. Good for me in a way since I can come home with my clubbing wear without anyone scolding me.

Everything is good, until one day I meet him again.

Lawrence Lau, Senior PR Manager.

The First Chapter - 016

As I started singing my first song, I noticed a pair of eyes looking at me from across the table. Well, considering that I do have that wee bit of talent in singing it wasn't a surprise to me if someone takes notice of me. After all, I'm always performing whenever I go to the pubs with Adrian and the rest of us.

The part that shook me comes when I'm singing my second song. That same guy who's been looking at me started tearing.

Tears flowing from a man because of my singing?! Shucks that's really the first time. By then even Mark noticed that guy was crying because of hearing what I sang.

"Wah Aud you steady leh! Can go be singer already lah!" Mark made fun of me when I finished both songs and the whole pub was applausing.

"Don't bo liao lah."

I excused myself to the toilet. Too much beer means too dehydrated and the number of times to the toilet increase.

When I stepped out of the toilet, that guy who was crying earlier stood there and hugged me, taking me into his arms by a huge surprise.

"Fuck, are you seriously drunk! Idiot..." I tried to free myself from this weird guy.

"No girl, I just want to say thank you personally." he tilt his head down and whisper this into my left ear.

"Huh? What the fuck? Then let go of me!" this time, I pushed with all the strength I got and manage to free myself.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I tried to adjust myself and my dress.

"Thank you."

"There's a million ways to say thank you, but you don't have to take advantage of me this way!" I lift my left hand wanting to give this man a slap.

Being a left hander it's always my first basic instinct to use my left hand when I want to slap someone. And I've never fail to get my palms onto the face of my target because people will usually not be able to counter-react a flying left palm in time.

Unfortunately, I failed badly this time. He managed to grab my hand in time and instead, turned the back of my hand facing him and gave it a kiss.

"Lawrence." with that he made my left palm facing upwards, took out a name card from his pocket using another hand and place that onto my palm.

"You have beautiful hands just like your voice. Don't waste it to hit on bad guys like me." with that whispering into my right ear this time, he let go of my hand and walk out of the pub from the back door, which is right beside the toilet.

I take a look at the name card that's on my palm.

"Lawrence Lau, Senior PR Manager"

The First Chapter - 015

Knowing that I love KTV pubs, Mark brought me to this small but crowded pub at Serangoon Gardens. He frequents there regularly and hence the waitresses and people wave and say hi to him the moment we reach.

"Hey yandao eh! Bringing your new girlfriend here for a drink ah? Sibeh chio can?" one look at this person approaching Mark I know this guy must be the boss.

White polo tee with bermudas, revealing bits of his tattoo on his arms, thick long gold chain hanging on his neck with 3 Thai Buddhist pendants, long straight hair that ends at his chin and a significant beer belly.

Stylo milo? I don't know why most pub bosses that I met sure have at least 3 out of those features I mentioned above.

Unless it's a lady boss, then that's a different story.

"No lah Wilson, she's friend only leh. We wanted to drink something so I come over lo." as usual Mark replied with his perfect singlish.

Wilson got us a table despite being crowded and Mark ordered a Tiger Tower.

I went over to the KTV song selector instead of getting the pub waitress to dedicate the songs. That is then the reason I don't want to go home yet.

I have the sudden urge to sing my emo-tions out.
解脱 by A-mei and 日记本 by Kelly Chen.

When the waitress passed me the microphones, Mark and I had already finished half of what's in the tower. We're both good drinkers hence even by then we're still good and sober.

The only problem is when I started singing after some alcohol, I sound even more emotional. And I think that night, my singing was exceptionally emotional.

Either that or THAT GUY is too emotional to began with.

That was the first time I met Lawrence. That, was also the starting of me into the world of wonderland.

The First Chapter - 014

"I've made a wrong move, and here I am having to be responsible and suffer for the rest of my life for the mistake I've done."

Hugging me even tighter, Adrian stroke my long straight hair.

"Don't ever follow my footsteps. Never."

"Audrey. You deserved to be loved by someone who appreciates who you are, not someone wanting you to become somebody that even you can't recognize when you look into the mirror."

With his left arm still hugging me and right hand stroking my hair, I nodded my head.

"Mmmm."

We washed up and left the hotel at 5am, since Adrian needs to go home to prepare for his wedding while I need to get ready to go over to his house in the late afternoon.

"Uncle, Brighton Ave."

Wearing a bright cobalt blue dress with a silver handbag and a silver pair of wedges, I board the cab to go over to Adrian's place. As promised I adjust my mood to be bubbly and cheerful, with light makeup and my long hair braided to the side, ending on my right shoulder. At the end of the braid, I pinned the blue flower hair clip that Adrian bought for me during the days when we worked at Sheraton.

The buffet was held at the garden in Adrian's house. Everything looks really simple like what I was told. Adrian wears a white shirt with a pair of black bermudas, while his wife with her slight bulging tummy is wearing an off white knee length dress. Both he and his wife's parents are not around. All I see are friends of Adrian and his wife.

That was also the first time I see Adrian forcing himself to smile at the guests and trying hard to pretend that he's happy. His wife on the other hand looks ultra radiant and refreshed. Perhaps I'm thinking too much, Adrian didn't sleep the night before anyway. He's probably tired.

Who tells me to be fucking him on the night before his big day. I am to be blamed if he looks that tired, isn't it?

I didn't stayed very long at the wedding because one of our friend Mark decided to send me home and perhaps it's a woman's sixth sense, I felt that Adrian's wife doesn't like my presence.

"Mark, please make sure you send Aud home safely." Adrian reminded him before we left.

"Yah lah yah lah, Aud is your precious sister gem of course I'll make sure she's home safe and sound." Mark's reply assured Adrian with a pat on the groom's shoulder.

It wasn't long after we left Adrian's house that I made this decision in Mark's car.

"Mark, do you mind if we go for a drink instead?"

The First Chapter - 013

Adrian stops all his actions. When I turned my head around to see what's happening, his hands are on his head and he let out a cry, before giving the mattress a punch with his fist.

"Why! Why must it be Sean!"

I couldn't even dare to make a single noise. Tears just flow without my consent, as though they are the rebellious ones who still dare to move at this moment.

"Adrian... I'm sorry..." I'm sobbing while covering my face with my hands.

"You're getting married tomorrow and I'm doing this to you... I'm really sorry..." I couldn't face him at all.

Adrian hugged the naked me into his arms, burying my face into his chest.

"Audrey... All these while I've been wanting to tell you this. Ever since I first met you at Sheraton I've always wanted you by my side. I thought by teaching you how to do blowjobs and bring you to the night scene with me some day you would be mine. But I was wrong. All wrong!"

I don't know what to say. All these years of knowing him, he's like a big brother to me. Yes it was him who started me with blowjobs and getting comfortable with dicks. Yes sometimes he was the one I had slept with when George couldn't satisfy me. But it has never come into my mind that what Adrian wanted is more than that.

I never realize he was carrying a torch for me all these while.

"When Sean came into your life and you changed so much, I thought you might have found someone better than me and worth your love more than what I can give."

"But he hurts you so much, and I have to see your suffer. Do you know how much I'm just as hurt not telling you how much I've love you?"

"Adrian..."

"Let me finish."

Being surrounded by Adrian's warmth, I nod my head gently, signaling him to continue what he wants to say.

The First Chapter - 012

Adrian brought me to a budget hotel near the club and we checked into a room.

I don't know what came into me that night. Perhaps all these while Sean is right, I am a sinner.

I couldn't stop kissing Adrian the moment we step into the hotel room. His hands are all over me, and my hands just go south on him on its own to remove his Levi's jeans.

The tongue fight continues as we move from the door to the bed. By then Adrian had already removed my demin skirt and his fingers are tapping on my g-spot inside me, while cupping and playing with my aroused breast with his other hand.

"Argh... Ad...." I let out heaps of moans. I missed this feeling of sexual adrenaline high. The lack of sex over this period makes me crave for a good sex even more.

My whole mind went blank as my pussy gets wetter. Adrian has been good with his fingering skills and it didn't take me long to get my first orgasm even before he gets himself inside me.

Alcohol makes your body more sensitive towards all these sensations, no doubts about it.

As long as you're not absolutely drunk and not knowing what you're doing.

I regain a bit of conscious after my first orgasm. Adrian wants to continue fingering me but I stopped him. Without even giving a second thought I remove his briefs and gave him what he deserves.

This isn't the first time I'm blowing him so I know exactly what he wants and likes. "Awww... Aud... Awww..." To be honest, hearing a guy's moan makes me hornier and wants more.

"Aud... Argh..." Adrian suddenly lift my head off his penis and pushed me down to the bed. Lifting my legs apart he began to slide his fully erected dick into my dripping wet pussy.

"Ahhh!" a mixture of pain and high. One thing that most woman should know is that, if you stop having sex for a while your pussy will just tighten itself. A bit.

It didn't take long before Adrian is fully inside me. He started pumping, faster and faster which makes me feel so good. I couldn't stop moaning, just like those Japanese AV porn stars in the movies.

Adrian had his hands playing with my nipples while pumping harder and faster. The adrenaline rush is so fast I had a headache before I got my second orgasm for the night.

I turn over into doggy position for Adrian to slide in. It wasn't hard for him to locate my hairless hole and within minutes he starts pumping me again.

"Argh... Sean... Ahhh..."

I knew I've a made a grave mistake when Adrian stops his actions immediately...

The First Chapter - 011

"Mum, I'm going out."

"It's 8pm Audrey, where are you going?"

"I'm going to a friend's hens party." I replied while wearing my hot pink Converse sneakers. "She's my ex-colleague when I was working in the hotel. I'll be home late so don't wait for me mum."

Donning a demin skirt which hides a even shorter and tighter one underneath and an oversize top with my bareback tube in it, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and hurried off before mum could ask me much.

Hot pink sneakers because my bareback tube is from Adidas (I've altered the back of course). I'm doing a sporty look to conceal my frame that has shrunk from the weeks (or months) of malnutrition.

Ever since I've cooped myself at home I've lost quite a fair bit of weight to the extend that some of my clothes don't fit anymore.

It's been 2 days since Adrian called me to inform about his shotgun marriage. Tonight is his bachelor night and I know I can't give it a miss.

"Aud! I have not seen you for so long!"

"Wah Audrey you hide yourself to transform yourself into a model is it? Slim down so much and even sexier than before!"

Sadly, losing weight doesn't mean my boobs will shrink much with the weight loss. In contrast, my bra size went from 36B to a 34C upper. Smaller but even fuller looking.

And it's there to stay all the way till now.

Concealer and makeup does wonders for woman, I must say.

None of them notice the pale hagged me at all. Perhaps the dim lighting inside the club helps too.

"I know you won't disappoint me." Adrian gave me a hug and said this to me the first thing when I reached.

I gave him a wink and stick out my tongue. It still hurts inside me but no, it's time to let go. I must find back my actual self. Not the one who have to forgo everything for the sake of one guy.

Just like the saying goes, never give up a forest for a tree.

That night, I had a lot more than what I usually could. I still know what's happening around me, but my body just can't be controlled by myself entirely.

"Audrey, you're drunk. Come I send you home." Adrian held me out of the club that's closing for the night.

"I don't want I don't want to go home!" I tried to push him away. Somehow, the drunken me just have more strength than usual. This push not only separates me from Adrian, it forces the unstable me to fall onto the ground.

I started crying. Again.

"Why? Why must Sean do this to me!" I hit my bare hands on the ground, not giving a damn care that I'm totally flashing my pink thongs to everyone walking pass in that position.

I guess some people might have sniped me in that terrible state then, since in my memory, I recalled some passerby aiming their camera phones at me.

Adrian tried to hold me up and also to stop those snipers from aiming me this open target.

"Audrey! Stop doing this to yourself."

"Hands off me lah! You're not me how you know how much I am hurt?"

"Sean... I really love you a lot..." I couldn't control anymore and hold on to Adrian. I lay my head on his shoulders and cried profusely.

"Why... I'm not a sinner... I am willing to change everything for you... Why am I not given a chance to explain or defend myself..."

I mumbled a lot. The thing about being a drunkard is that they will keep repeating what they've bottled inside them and 90% of the time they don't remember saying it the next morning when they're sober.

The problem with me that night is that I am drunk, high and out of control for my emotions but I roughly remembered what I mumbled and worst still, I clearly remembered all the actions.

Because, Adrian just hugged me tight and french kissed me all of a sudden while I was mumbling, waking me up from all these childish drunkard behavior.

"Adrian... I don't want to go home."

The First Chapter - 010

Continue lying on my bed after Adrian hung up, I look up into the celling.

By accident, my finger pressed on the play button of my Gold Sony Ericsson W880i, and songs started playing without my acknowledgment.

From Sammi Cheng to Elva Hsiao, all these songs played are what the people in the pub called "Audrey's best performance".

Yes other than drinking, I love singing and each time I sang it's a sure bound that I would liven up the atmosphere of the pub.

Recalling how much of a chirpy girl I was and how I always liven up the atmosphere whenever I sing at the pubs, I can't even answer myself why I became someone like this now.

Just then, a song that I've not heard for ages started playing.

"哭 心太苦 羡慕你毫不在乎"
(范晓萱 - 潜意识)

What an appropriate song to describe my feelings towards Sean. I couldn't control my tears any further.

I still have feelings for Sean.

But I know, I can't let him destroy my life forever like this.

I have to get myself back. And be even stronger...

The First Chapter - 009

Can't remember how long I hid in my room after that incident. Can't recall how painful, how heartbroken, how shattered I was after all that. I lied to my parents that the workload is too heavy and not justifiable for me because that company is a small SME and I don't see any career advancement. Plus the bullying from the seniors makes me very stressed to report for work. In order not to let my parents worried, all I could do is to hide in my room and look at the pictures of me and Sean in my phone, tearing silently while on the other hand, telling them that I'm in the room searching for a new job online.

Because both my parents are working then, it was safe to be alone at home and tearing like nobody's business. But when the night falls, that prick in my heart caused me numerous nights of insomnia.

"You sinner"

"You little slut"

That, was how I started having insomnia every year around that time when this incident happen.

When I got myself back again, it was 5 days before my birthday. A call from Adrian.

"Aud, you finally pick up my call. Do you know how worried I was!?"

"……"

"Aud, you there?"

"Yea…" I replied softly, that weeks or months of "dieting" makes me lost a couple of kilos, not to mention stripped away the chirpy me.

"Aud, I'm calling to let you know I can't celebrate your birthday with you this year.. And subsequent years... anymore."

I remained silent. Was my birthday coming? I can't recall. What date was it today?

"…"

"Aud, I… I… I'm... I'm getting married."

Then, I heard a very deep sigh.

"I'll not be having any grand dinner, it'll be just a small buffet at my house after going to the ROM. But I really wish you'll be there. Can you promise me that I'll see you on that day, the chirpy sexy Aud?"

"Aud, please… You're the most wonderful girl I ever had in my life. You've been like my little sister, it hurts me to see you destroying yourself like this over a man who doesn't cherish you."

Tears started flowing down unknowingly. Adrian… who else would have showered me with so much sincere care and concern other than him?

During this time, Adrian is the only one who have contacted me to make sure I'm well, sending me SMSes and ringing up when I didn't reply his messages. Sometimes, he would bring me my favorite food during the day when my parents are not around and make sure I finish them in front of him before leaving my house.

"I will be there, I promised."

The First Chapter - 008

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The icy cold air freezes my lungs immediately. 20 degrees celsius. I might sneeze if I'm topless or bottomless. Distance between me and the door behind to walk out of this office, 5 steps. Distance to walk to this hungry wolf, give his dick a mind-fucking blowjob and done with all the nonsense here, 3 steps.

Forget it. This old man can wait another time.

"You have my number, I don't think I need to teach you what to do." I turned and reach out for the door knob, wanting to leave this place ASAP.

"Wait, you're now jobless, don't you think it's worth it if I'm not gonna deduct your pay for not serving your tender notice in exchange for just a simple blow job?"

I stopped and hesitated. Images of Sean flashes into my mind.

"You sinner"

Fine, shall let him have a taste of what he wished for.

I walked over to my boss and gave him that slyly smile which some might call The Slutty Grin, but since I have perpetually sleepy eyes so it makes the sluttiness even sluttier.

"What you want to do?"

I kneel down in front of him, unbuckle his Louis Vitton belt, unbutton and unzip his pants.

Hot pink boxers, hmm...
Didn't know my boss is that kinky.

It didn't take more than 5 seconds for me to locate his deflated meat stick. I use my left hand and push down the foreskin, revealing his dickhead that's turning slight red.

I give it a good lick as though I'm licking an ice cream. Yucks, this guy never cleans after peeing. Oh wells, continue to do my deed. A slow twirl around the edges sends him a light moan to me and the instant hard on of his small head.

Without a second thought I gave it a deep throat and swirl my tongue side to side while the dick is in my mouth. Unshaven forest, gross to the max. I almost sneeze from the tickling of his pubic hair, but all I can think of in my mind is "just do the fucking blowjob and leave".

5 inch, probably at most a 5.5. Average. Typical old man who doesn't clean his dickhead after he pees, leaving that scent of urine around his dickhole for the woman to taste.

Just when I'm almost done with it...

"Boss, the monthly expenses report that you wanted..." I recognize that voice immediately. From that angle, Sean probably can't see me clearly. But my shoes would definitely give me away from the edges of the table. Not to mention that sex-tisfied look on my boss

"Just leave it here." I could hear the sound of the file being placed on the table and the closing of the office door. "And you..."

My boss holds my chin to look at me and gave me a rough kiss on my lips. I tried to struggle but I failed. I'm still a woman afterall, strength wise I can never beat a man.

"You little slut. What's a better job for you than to be a fucking whore!" He pushed me aside and dressed himself.

"That's it. I'll do what I said. You can go and pack your stuffs and leave."

The First Chapter - 007

Being someone with spilt personality, character and habit like me, all it takes is a real heartbroken love to break that thin line separating the devil and angel in me.

I met Sean when I was living with George. He was my senior in my day job when I was just an admin assistant. Sean has these pair of charming eyes that I can't get my own off his whenever our eyes meet. He isn't really consider handsome, and if you ask who's his lookalike, I would say he's 95% resemblance to Taiwanese singer Yoga Lim.

Being a Christian, Sean believes in sex after marriage and all those "morally right" stuffs. It's boring, but I was so mesmerize by him for some stupid reason that I feel bad about all the things I've done in the past; my sexual experiences then is more than enough to write a book of "field reports". Men that I've slept with is already countless. As long as George says he's tired and not in the mood for sex, I would simply find someone to release my sexual needs. And with my connections in the pub, it isn't difficult to find a man and a room for sex. Whatever the case is, George isn't enough to satisfy my high sex drive. Since George's sexual views is very liberal, he can't tie me down with any mono-sex-partner theory either. Specially so from time to time we do get involved in gangbangs and swingings when we're in the mood.

But Sean is different. He's so morally upright, so prim and proper. His insist to keep his virginity till marriage and all the moral chats we had during lunch somehow changes me. I pub and drink less often, started to read up books on Christianity and even follows him to his church on Sundays eventually.

The drastic change in me somehow makes George realize that I am not that wild in bed anymore, which gradually becomes no sexual actions between us. In order for me to "start afresh" I decided to break off my relationship with George and moved back to my parent's place. I want to be with Sean.

That "heart skipped a beat"moment came one evening when I was working overtime. Sean stayed back to clear the workload with me and while trying to reach for some documents on a chair, I accidentally fell behind and fall right onto his arms.

"Audrey... I... We... Erm..."

I knew it's just the time. A little action from me should get the sparks going. I lean forward and kissed him. It was only thereafter I got to know, that's Sean's first kiss.

Our good times together isn't long. One month later, a new colleague who happens to be one of my fuck buddy joined our company and he revealed our relationship during his welcome dinner when he was high on alcohol. First day at work for him and he marks the end of my world. Sean who is the only non-alcoholic in the company is so sober that he heard everything in detail, loud and clear. How that sensual feeling my fuck buddy felt when I suck his cock with an ice cube twirling in my mouth. How flexible I am to be able to have my legs all the way up my head when he's doing missionary position with me. How perky my butt is that cushions him so well when we doggy. Everything.

Of course, Sean couldn't take it as he had assumed that I was a virgin just like him. Well who would have thought I'm not if I claim I have never been in love before nor dated any guy. I am really never been truly in love with anyone before I met Sean. Perhaps only sexually in love with their bodies and sexual skills.

What can be worst is that I didn't attend the dinner as I was on medical leave with a bad menstrual cramp. Sean came to look for me after the dinner which I thought back then that he was doing so for he cares about me.

"Hey..." I opened the door when Sean arrived.

"You've been a liar isn't it? Sinner."

"Huh?" I couldn't even make any sense to what he just said.

"Let's break up. I can't accept someone who have committed such a great sin of lust. Not to mention about being a liar. You.... We're over."

He left without saying another word.

News spread fast and when I'm back in office 2 days later, my life is changed. Every guys looks at me as if I'm stripped naked. Girls look at me as if I'm a slut who stole their boyfriends. Sean refused to talk to me even for work related matters. I knew that I can't stay here anymore.

I submitted my resignation letter without notice that very day. Instead of asking me for any reason to quit and such, my boss's only reply to me was "ah sad, I thought I might have a chance to experience your blowjob before you leave!", with that pair of ferociously hungry eyes like that of a wolf...

The First Chapter - 006

As I pull the Staff Entrance door open, I could hear my name being called even before my eyes can land on the person who call for me.

"Au… Chloe dear! How can you make me wait so long huh." George came today with his friend Freddy.

"Big surgeon!" I took quick steps over with my GoJane spiked heel-less platforms. Sometimes I wonder what the fuck I am thinking. With my 1.68m height I actually have no reason to wear a 1.5 inch tall platform to work in the Bar. Not to mention I wore cheap Rubi's 2 for $25 flats to work during the day time when it's a desk bound job and for this job I have to walk around the whole night.

"Big surgeon, why the sudden mood to come on a Tuesday night?" I pick 2 big ice cubes from the ice bucket into his empty rock glass, pour his bottle of Macallan 12 years till half full then add Pokka green tea. George loves his Macallan and green tea ratio to be 1:1.

"Cos I miss you and want to feel your siken tofu lo" George's fingers slides down my arms as he said so.

"Well, I've got silken tofu skin is also because of you." I move myself closer to George, leaning my breast against his muscular arms. My pointy nipples sends him some electric shock down his spine and I can totally feel it from the tip of my nipples.

From appearance you can never tell George's occupation. Muscular bulky figure with tattoos on his left arm, speaks English with all the singlish elements like "lah", "lo", "leh" and wears funky colors contact lens like violet, pinks and blues. He loves wearing clothes that would expose his tattoo but apparently when he's at work he would dress and behave like a surgeon, wearing frameless spectacles and long sleeves, speaks perfect "typical ATAS" English like an Ang Moh.

How I know? Because I was his first patient in his clinic and he was the one I gave my virginity to. George is a cosmetic surgeon who does aesthetic surgeries, both invasive and non invasive.

Hell no, he didn't give me my perky boobs. I was his first patient for laser hair removal. I owe my hairless body from neck down to him.

I met George in the pub when I was 21. Back then, he just completed his studies and was intending to open his own clinic. Coming from a wealthy family background, it wasn't difficult that he got his funds from his dad and opened his own clinic a year later.

Don't laugh, but as much as with all the trainings I had with Adrian, I insisted that I must keep my hymen until 21. I've done almost everything from handjobs, blowjobs, catbath, painting to fingering assholes (with condoms on of course!) with different guys but I refused to let anyone poke into my virgina and break my hymen. Which is also the reason why I do all my sexual actions in the public; in case the guy insist to push his luck and stick his dick into me I can run away. *evil grins and sticks out tongue*

George was then considered as my first "boyfriend". We happened to "chance upon" each other on my 21st birthday when I'm having my birthday celebration in the pub. After all these years of keeping my hymen intact I can't wait to find a good catch that night, breaking it open to more sexual adventures. He happened to be the "lucky" one.

"Lucky one"?

I don't know if he should be considered lucky or unlucky because back then it hurts so much that I screamed out loud in his home, woke his parents up and they came knocking at his room door while we're both naked and he just manage to penetrate into my tight pussy in missionary position. Sadly unlike all those stupid soap dramas on Channel 8, I never bleed at all. Not even a single drip.

Since that night, George started calling me "dear" and I also can't be bothered to stop him from doing so. He moved into his own studio apartment and I joined him when I was 22, and hence I can't go around my neighborhood naked like how I used to do so anymore. From then on we had sex almost every other night, trying all sorts of positions each time.

Being a cosmetic surgeon himself he refused to let me go through any cosmetic procedures as he calls me his "natural beauty". But being very particular about hair, he bought a hair removal laser machine and I was his guinea pig, having all my hair removed by him. Yes, pussy hair included.

George is also the only one who knows about my secret in the day and night because of that 17 months staying with him. We "broke off" eventually because I told him I'm a bisexual and his 4.5 inch really isn't enough to satisfy my sex drive. But in actual fact…

The First Chapter - 005

As I put my Furla Candy bag into my locker, Adrian came over and gave my butt a tight spanking from behind.

"Nice ass!"

"As always since 8 years ago, isn't it?" I turned around and wrap my arms around his neck, giving him a good french kiss. I would feel weird to start work if my tongue don't get to touch his every night. After all, he was the one who taught me how to use my tongue properly like a pro.

I met Adrian when I was 17.

After my O levels and while waiting for admission into Polytechnic for my Diploma in Hospitality, I lied to my parents that I want to be independent and also to understand where my diploma will lead me to after graduation. Using that as a good excuse I started working in Sheraton hotel, where in fact I would always go to the pubs at Goldhill Plaza nearby after work with my colleagues for drinks and parties.

As usual I would prepare 2 sets of clothes out; ugly plain big t-shirts with long jeans to "showcase" to my parents that I'm going out to work and party wear which I'll change into after work.

Party wear? You might be thinking. Clothes like bare back tops, short and tight t-shirts which will reveal my midriff and bling bling tube tops are my favorites. And as always, I love to pair them with ultra mini skirts and in case I forget to mention, I would prefer to go commando underneath all these when I'm partying or pub. The thrill of having my clean shaven pussy flashing at unknowing people then just gives me a good adrenaline rush that's even more high than drinking alcohol in quick shots.

I never get caught by my parents with this because all I need to do is to change out my clothes before I'm home and bring them to work the next day for hotel laundry service. And I change my clothes at the corner of the stairs at my void deck, moon-tanning myself naked as I do so. In this way, I don't "malu" myself in the pub with those ugly clothes and also get to enjoy my cheap thrill of exposing myself naked in public every night.

On nights when I know I'm gonna drink till drunk (like a colleague's birthday) or in case if I'm drunk and didn't return home, all I have to do is to lie to my parents that there's shortage of manpower for banquet team and I stayed back to help out till morning.

Adrian back then worked at the laundry service department and I would see him daily to pass him my soiled clothes in exchange for those that laundry is done. He was 5 years my senior and was having his internship in the hotel for his degree in Tourism and Hospitality.

Being a foreigner in Singapore is good, because all guys at his age would be forced to serve the army or just finish wasting their 2 years of prime time and starting their degree. Adrian doesn't have to go through this suffering because he's holding student permit. His Taiwanese businessman father and Japanese mother came to Singapore when he was 15 and he don't intend to convert himself to become a Singapore citizen, hence he escaped the 2 years of hell.

We remained as close friends even after he finished his internship. Many times after few rounds of drinks we would start kissing each other in the pub and that's when he'll tell me which part I should improve, like where I should place my tongue inside his mouth.

As time goes, the kissing becomes hugging, hugging becomes passionate touchings, then eventually I'm no longer just kissing his lips but also blowing his lovely 7 inch circumcised cock down under.

"Learn to twirl your tongue swiftly around here" Adrian point to the edge of his erected crown. "That gives every man a high sensation."

"Especially so if I do this, right?" I grabbed my glass of ice cold beer and gulp a mouthful of it, and the next second I'm welcoming his dick into my mouth as a mixer to my ice cold beer, while using my tongue to twirl around his corona. That look on his face, that "oh" and "ah", and this cum shooting inside my mouth to mix with beer are all my good memories before I broke my hymen.

8 years have passed since I met Adrian, he's now the boss of the bar and also a father of a 2-year old son with a Singaporean wife due to a shotgun marriage. Even so, he would not fail to "spot-check" on my tongue skills everyday to make sure I didn't forget what he had taught me.

"Time to start work, Audrey. Your lovers are waiting for you outside." Adrian hold my waist and give them a twist, making me turn to face the door.

"I'm not Audrey at this time, Adrian. My name's Chloe." I turned my head to give him a wink and pull the door...

The First Chapter - 004

Being a Bar Waitress isn't what I expected myself to do. As much as I was very curious about nightlife, sex and relationships since I was 12, my strict family upbringing taught me that I must be prim and proper and of course, no alcohols, no late nights, no love and relationships before graduation. And most importantly, no sex before marriage.

But having rebellious blood flowing inside me, I swear to myself that I would move out and stay on my own the moment I graduated. I would pretend to be the goody two shoes in front of my parents and younger siblings. Yet behind them, I will do all the "dirty things" without being caught.

One of my secrets would be masterbating myself in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep. Sometimes, I would even strip myself naked and sneak out of the house quietly, fingering myself in the lifts, at the staircase or along the corridor outside my neighbors' house. Many times I can't help but to give out soft moans but I can only try to lower the volume by covering my own mouth with one hand or bitting my lower lip while foundering my nipples or clitoris or having my finger penetrated inside my wet vagina, feeling my G-spot harden and stiff.

10 years doing all these "dirty actions" and never been caught once. I guess not only I'm lucky to escape the eye of the police, but also the strict restrictions of my family upbringing. I stopped all these after I moved out at age 22. Not because I don't like it anymore, but because...